The funniest pickleball sayings are the ones about things that happen at every court: the kitchen rule, close line calls, the score nobody remembers, and the gap between a player's rating and how they feel about it. Below are 68 sayings sorted by topic, written for shirts, Instagram captions, team names and the group chat. The ones we liked most are printed on shirts, mugs and hats in our shop, with links at the end of each section.
A quick note before you print any of these yourself: some pickleball phrases are registered trademarks for clothing (for example "Dink and Drink" and "Third Shot Drop"). The everyday lines on our own products were checked against the US trademark register before we printed them; the Christmas lines and the other sayings on this page were not. If you make your own shirt, search the phrase at tmsearch.uspto.gov first.
Kitchen sayings
The kitchen is the 7-foot zone on each side of the net where you are not allowed to volley. Every new player gets told to stay out of it, and every regular has a story about stepping in at the worst moment. That makes it the best source of jokes in the sport.
- Seven feet of patience.
- Toes behind the line.
- Grandma owns the kitchen.
- Retired from work, not from the kitchen.
- I don't cook. I dink.
- My happy place is seven feet deep.
- Stay out of my kitchen. Both of them.
- Kitchen rules: wait, wait, wait, then wait a little more.
- The kitchen line is a suggestion. The referee disagrees.
- Meet me at the kitchen line.
- I peaked at the kitchen line.
- Nobody puts a dinker in the corner. They put them at the kitchen line.
From our shop: Seven Feet of Patience T-Shirt ($27), Toes Behind the Line T-Shirt ($27), Grandma Owns the Kitchen T-Shirt ($27) and Retired From Work, Not From the Kitchen Mug ($19).
Line call sayings
In most rec games there is no referee, so players call their own lines. That is fair most of the time and very funny the rest of the time.
- It was out. Respectfully.
- I call them like I see them. I see them out.
- If it's close, it's in. Unless it's on my side.
- The line is part of the court. Your opinion is not.
- My eyes are 40 years old and they say it was out.
- Out by an inch. I measured with my heart.
- No need to look at it twice. I already looked once.
- Friends until the first close call.
From our shop: It Was Out Respectfully T-Shirt ($27), the same line as an embroidered hat ($32) and a towel ($28).
Skill rating sayings
Players get a skill rating, usually somewhere from 2.0 to 5.0 and up. Many rec players rate themselves, and the number tends to drift upward when nobody is checking.
- Officially a 3.0, emotionally a 5.0.
- Self-rated 4.0.
- My rating is a 3.5. My confidence is a 6.0.
- I play like a 4.0 in my head and a 3.0 on the court.
- My DUPR and I are not speaking.
- Rated by me, approved by me.
- I don't lose. I give other people a chance to win.
- Paddle costs more than my lessons. It shows.
- Bought the expensive paddle. Still hit the net.
From our shop: Officially a 3.0, Emotionally a 5.0 T-Shirt ($27), the same line as a crewneck sweatshirt ($42) and Self-Rated 4.0 T-Shirt ($27).
Score calling sayings
In doubles the server calls three numbers before every serve: their team's score, the other team's score, and whether they are the first or second server. Somebody always forgets.
- Score calling is my cardio.
- Papa calls the score.
- Wait, what's the score?
- Four, two, one. Or is it two, four, two?
- I'm here for the snacks and the score calling.
- Second server? I thought I was first.
- Ten, ten, two and still smiling.
- If you don't call the score, I'll make one up.
From our shop: Score Calling Is My Cardio T-Shirt ($27), towel ($28) and mug ($19), plus Papa Calls the Score Hat ($32) for grandpas.
Sayings for the player who plays too much
- Paddle packed, plans cancelled.
- Mom needs court time.
- Sorry I missed your call. I was at open play.
- Last game. Okay, this one is the last game.
- I came for the exercise and stayed for the arguments.
- My calendar has two colors: pickleball and everything else.
- I'd love to come to brunch, but courts open at 8.
- Will reschedule anything for court time.
- My car has more paddles than seats.
From our shop: Paddle Packed, Plans Cancelled T-Shirt ($27), the same line on a tote bag ($28), and Mom Needs Court Time T-Shirt ($27).
Tennis player sayings
A lot of pickleball players came from tennis. Most of them have opinions about it.
- Tennis was a phase.
- Traded my racquet for a paddle and never looked back.
- Smaller court. Bigger opinions.
- I used to play tennis. Now I have knees.
- Still swinging too hard. Old tennis habit.
From our shop: Tennis Was a Phase T-Shirt ($27), hat ($32) and crewneck sweatshirt ($42).
Birthday and retirement sayings
- Another year around the post.
- Retired, rested and ready to dink.
- I'm not old. I'm a 4.0 with experience.
- Over the hill and over the net.
- Aged to perfection, like a good pickle.
- My retirement plan: courts at 7, nap at 2.
From our shop: Another Year Around the Post T-Shirt ($27) and Retired From Work, Not From the Kitchen Sweatshirt ($42).
Pickle puns
The sport is named pickleball, so pickle jokes were always going to happen. These work best on a mug or a caption, where a pun is expected.
- Brine time is court time.
- Pickle by name, dinker by nature.
- Pickled and proud.
- Brined for the long game.
- Kill them with kindness. Then with a drop shot.
- Relish the rally.
From our shop: our cartoon pickles have no words at all, which makes them easy gifts for people who don't love puns: Cool Pickle T-Shirt ($27), Pink Bow Pickle T-Shirt ($27) and Grandpa Pickle T-Shirt ($27).
Christmas sayings
- Merry Kitchmas.
- Deck the courts.
- I asked Santa for court time.
- All I want for Christmas is an open court.
- Dashing through the snow to the indoor courts.
From our shop: Merry Kitchmas Sweatshirt ($42), Deck the Courts Sweatshirt ($42) and I Asked Santa for Court Time Mug ($19). All our Christmas items are in Pickleball Christmas Gifts.
How to pick a saying for a shirt
- Match the joke to how long they have played. A first-month player gets kitchen and "toes behind the line" jokes. Skill rating jokes land best with people who have been rated, or who argue about ratings.
- Short beats clever. A shirt is read from across a court. Four or five words is plenty.
- Tease the habit, not the person. "It Was Out. Respectfully." works because everyone makes close calls. A joke about someone's age or weight is a gamble.
- For a gift, think about where they will wear it. A plain line like "Seven Feet of Patience" can be worn anywhere. A pun shirt is a court shirt.
See all our designs in Funny Pickleball Shirts. Tees are $27 (2XL $29, 3XL $31, 4XL $33), each one is printed after you order, and shipping is free in the US.
Frequently asked questions
What is a good pickleball caption for Instagram?
Short and about the game you just played. "Paddle packed, plans cancelled", "Score calling is my cardio" and "Seven feet of patience" all fit under a court photo. A pickle pun like "Relish the rally" works too.
What do pickleball players say when the ball is out?
In rec play the player on that side calls it, usually by saying "out" and pointing or holding up a finger. Calls are supposed to be made quickly and fairly, and if you are not sure, the ball is in.
Why is it called the kitchen?
Nobody knows for sure. The official name is the non-volley zone. The most common story is that it borrows from shuffleboard, where part of the court is also called the kitchen.
Can I put any pickleball saying on a shirt I sell?
Not always. Some phrases are registered trademarks, such as "Dink and Drink" and "Third Shot Drop" for clothing and "Big Dill Pickleball" for paddles. Search the US trademark register at tmsearch.uspto.gov before you print and sell one.
What is a good saying for a pickleball team name?
Play on the words players already use: kitchen, dink, drop, paddle, pickle. "Kitchen Crew", "Seven Footers" and "Paddle Packed" are easy to remember and easy to put on a shirt.